Kinabalu Vegetable Killers – Chapter 2, The Peas of Despair

The next day, after sleeping in the parked bus’s hold, they headed off, and marched past all the tourists spending their money on guides to take them to the top of the mountain, and jumped onto the roof of a minibus as it sped off towards the Timphon Gate.  As they hopped off the minibus, they noticed a very odd looking plant sticking between the cracks in the concrete.  It had small pods instead of leaves. 

Spam began flicking through his “Squirrel’s Guide to Mutant Vegetables”, at which point Evan complained.

“Can’t I read the book this time?”

“How many times do we have to go over this?” Spam said, exasperated.  “The book is written in ancient squirrellish, and you can’t read”.

“Oh…”  The rat gave him a sad look.  “If you say so”.

When Spam found the page he was looking for, he said, yet again in his business like voice, “The Peas of Despair are one of the hardest vegetables to defeat.  Regenerating faster than anything.  The only way to defeat them is to gnaw their roots to pieces.  Its attack strategy is to deploy hundreds upon hundreds of pea warriors, that use ‘podapults’ to lob acidic peas at you that can explode and melt the toughest armour in a matter of seconds.”

“Sounds dangerous.” said Evan, “I’ll start digging then.”

Evan dug.  I mean he really dug.  Great clods of mud few into the air, spattering the windshields of the many minibuses.

“I’ll distract the podapults”  Sam shouted, as he started running around in great circles.  He ran faster and faster, so that the wind created a kind of vortex so that whenever a podapult threw a pea it was sucked up and then blown back at the podapult that had fired it, melting it instantly.

Meanwhile, underground, Evan wasn’t having much luck.  He’d discovered that the roots were like arms that kept collapsing his tunnels and yanking on his tail.  Every time this happened, he’d grab out with a clawed hand to seize the root and would gnaw it to pieces.  After a few minutes of this, the attacks stopped happening.  And on the surface, right before Spam’s eyes, the podapults shrivelled away leaving only one standing, which promptly lobbed a pea up to the top of Mount Kinabalu and then rotted away with its brothers and sisters.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.