Kinabalu Vegetable Killers – Chapter 1, The Carrot of Doom

Following our epic Mount Kinabalu adventure, Sam and Evan have been writing a story.  Aided by their dad’s amazing typing skills, they have created a masterpiece!  Introducing…… Kinabalu Vegetable Killers – The Adventures of a Ground Squirrel and a Pigmy Rat!   Brace yourselves…..

It was a fine sunny morning when Evan the pygmy rat and Spam the ground squirrel set off on their epic journey.  They had a single goal, to defeat the evil vegetable demons that were terrorising the world and forcing people to put vegetables on their pizzas.  It was the single, most evil thing anyone had ever thought of.  As they jumped off the roof of the bus that they had taken to Mount Kinabalu, the lair of the evil vegetable demons, they wondered where they would end up sleeping that night.  Evan looked like your average rat, skinny tailed and stinky, but he was not your average rat.  He could track vegetables from miles away, and chop them with his razor sharp tail.  Spam however, was really just your average ground squirrel.  Fifteen centimetres long, with a bushy black tail and brown fur he was one of the fasted creatures on the planet.

At that moment, by the side of the bus, they saw a hidden hatch pop open from the side of the bus, then three guys got off the bus.  One of them grabbed two bags from the hold, whilst the other two thanked him, took the bags and walked away towards a hostel.  But Evan, his eyes prying into the hold, saw something orange flash out of sight.

“What’s that?” he squeaked.

“What’s what?” Spam squeaked back.

“Carrot demon in the hold!” Evan exclaimed.

Spam peered through his squirrelly eyes, but could see nothing.  All he could see at first were several bags stacked together in a cone shape.  But laying on top of that cone shape, twice the size of both of them was an oversized carrot.  From deep within his his fur, Spam flipped out a leather backed, golden rimmed book, with flowing writing on the front with said “Squirrel’s Book of Mutant Vegetables – A Vegetable Defeating Guide”.   He quickly flicked through the pages.

“So”, Spam said in a business like voice, “In the book, it says that the Carrot Demon is one of the easiest demons to defeat.  He looks like your average carrot, just a lot bigger, until the leaves on top meld into a head and McDonald’s carrot sticks sprout out the sides like arms and legs.  His attack strategy is to impail you on his razor sharp end.  Once defeated, he will turn into a puddle of carrot juice.”

With claws retracted, and on silent feet, they both crept into the hold.  Once they were within a metre of the Carrot Demon, the vegetable swelled until it looked like a really muscly orange rabbit, with bright red eyes.  Evan ran at him, spinning around like a whirlwind, chopping him in half with his razor sharp tail.  A load of orange, milky liquid splattered the walls of the bus. 

“Well, that should should have done it” he said victoriously.

But at that point, the two halves of the carrot joined back together, forming an even larger rabbit.

“Bugger!” Spam screamed, “You didn’t chop him up enough and turn him into carrot juice properly.”

“Damn!” squeaked Evan

“I’ve got an idea” Spam shouted.  At which point, he farted.  This wasn’t a normal fart, this was one of Spam’s farts.  This cloud of stinking terror descend on the rabbit like a flock of vultures on a rotting corpse.  The rabbit’s over sensitive nose was so insulted by the stench that it exploded, flooding the hold with carrot juice, which slithered away through the gaps in the bus panelling. 

It didn’t come back.


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